Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
