you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
