im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
