Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
