if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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