i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
they need to just BURY HIM!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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