i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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