i just had sex bonerless
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
