I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
