he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
