So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
