Whatcha textin bout Willis?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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