we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I forget how to act sober
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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