Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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