I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
