There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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