sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Boobs speak an international language.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
