Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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