what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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