Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
