Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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