Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
