No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
