i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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