Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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