did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
