man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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