Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
