That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
