I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
