I wanna bring you to show and tell
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize