How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
