The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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