You're so nebulous sometimes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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