she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
God I need to hump something, right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
