he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
