Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
