If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
