Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
