my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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