Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
