Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
