i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
