we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
