I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
