question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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