Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
