Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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