I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
