so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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