Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize