Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
