1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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