: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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