How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
