Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
