You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
