Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
