Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
