I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
